Some people like it sleazy. Some people like it classy. Nothing wrong with either. While visiting Phoenix, AZ this past week we decided to hit up a local notorious swingers club in Phoenix Arizona called Club Discretions. Club Discretion’s website says they are “Arizona’s Most Active On Premise Swingers Club.” They also say “Club Discretions offers a relaxed, clean & pressure free environment where adult’s can practice the swinging lifestyle in a fun and safe surrounding.” We looked up a few different swingers clubs in Phoenix Arizona to check out, but this was one of two that kept coming up in our Google searches.

We were warned by lifestyle connections in Arizona not to waste our time with Club Discretions. But, we at The Red Couch like to find out for ourselves what things are like before we just take someone’s word for it. We’ve come across so many haters in the lifestyle that talk shit about another group or club. So we decided to give Club Discretions the benefit of the doubt and visit ourselves to see first hand what it was like.

Rather than give you a complete play by play review about our visit to Club Discretions like some other clubs we’ve reviewed, we will just give you the good, bad and ugly short list about our experience.

• Full disclaimer, we visited Club Discretions on a Wednesday night. We only had a couple mid-week evenings available for fun time, so we decided to try it out on a Wednesday. They advertised on their website that couples were free on Wednesday with a membership, so we figured it might be ok. Honestly, we expected it to be hit or miss attendance wise. More on that later…

• We tried to contact Club Discretions prior to visiting to ask about the membership fee and guest list. We couldn’t get a hold of anyone until an hour before the doors opened. When we did call, a female answered the phone and told us about the membership fee and the free Wednesday night special. We asked about BYOB and she informed us that alcohol was not allowed into the club, but that we could go in and out as often as we wanted. According to the website, Club Discretions membership fee is $25 per person [$50 per couple.] The normal entry fee is $35 for couples on a Friday and Saturday and $10 for couples during the week.

• Club Discretions is open 7 days a week. We had never been to a city where a swingers club was open 7 days a week. We thought this was interesting and, from experience, probably hard to manage. Not sure this is a plus or negative for either the club or those visiting, but worth mentioning.

• Club Discretions is hard to find. We passed it up initially because it’s located in the back ally of an industrial building. We turned around and saw a basic sign with an arrow pointing towards the back ally. This was just the beginning of the sketchiness. Definitely was cautious the moment we pulled into the back. Was not well lit and no one was there to greet us outside the club. Except… a herd of cats. Yes, you heard us right. Someone apparently takes it upon themselves to feed the local stray cats by putting food out. There must have been at least 5-6 cats that scurried outside Club Discretions when we pulled up. We honestly were worried they would jump up into our car and want us to take them home. I believe it was this moment that made my wife’s pussy dry up and my dick got soft.

We would have turned around and went home, but there were several cars in the parking lot so we decided to go inside.

We can’t make this shit up.

• When we first entered we were greeted coldly by a female and given a couple waiver forms for us to fill out, sign and date. We had to provide our id’s and also fill in a “sign in” sheet and provide our full names and identities. This was a bit uncomfortable for us. We have signed off on private waivers before, but never had to sign into a public “sign in sheet” where others coming in could see our names. When we voiced we didn’t want to disclose our names publicly, she insisted. We paid our cash only membership fee and they provided us with a laminated membership card, good for a year if we decided to come back.

• We went inside for the tour. The fresh smell of popcorn filled the air like a circus carnival. The venue was dark, with cheesy glow-in-the-dark artwork of sex positions painted throughout the club. The decor was a cross between BDSM dungeon and 80’s teen garage hangout. The furniture was clearly acquired on clearance from a local business office closure. The main dance floor consisted of a stripper pole, a few couches and a pretty decent lighting setup. Did we mention a smoke machine? Yes, they had a smoke machine going. No one was there, but there was a smoke machine.

• Club Discretions allows single men, of which was the majority there at the moment of course. A handful of guys were sitting at the juice bar as we passed by to get a view of the back playrooms. To their credit, they were respectful, didn’t size us up or do any cat calling or staring.

• We were shown about 5 playrooms in the back and they had 2 more public view rooms in the front of the house. It appeared as if these rooms doubled as rented rooms for the local homeless on an as needed basis. It was too dark to really tell if anything was clean. We leaned towards the side of caution by not touching anything. Needless to say, there was no way my wife was going to fuck anyone [including ME!] in one of those rooms.

If you like mirrors

• While most people would have left after the tour, we have a 30 minute rule. We always give the club, party a chance to heat up so we give it at least 30 mins to hang out and see if anything happens. So we grabbed a table and sat by the DJ booth.

• Music playlist was a range between classic rock, and Lady Gaga. Nothing that would have made us get up and shake our ass though.

• We did notice they had a decent sound system here and light display. [We were really trying to look for positives here]

• No one came up to talk to us. Not even the single men. There was another female assistant at the bar that served up soda and CBD drinks. They were selling sodas for $1.50 and CBD drinks for $5-$6 bucks. We thought this should definitely be included in the entrance fee.

• We had a brief conversation with one of the guys at the DJ booth. He mentioned the club had been around for about 23 years and that Phoenix had around 6 clubs a few years ago, but the city shut them down. Club Discretions and Club Encounters were the only ones left. He followed up with a racist comment about how “too many black people go to the other club, so Club Encounters needs security and has a lot of problems.”

• After about 45 mins, we had enough at that point and decided to say goodbye to Club Discretions. Forever.

We are of the opinion that people should know what they are getting into when visiting a swingers club. Especially newbies. When we first started in the lifestyle, we didn’t know what to expect or where to even find like minded people to connect with. This led to lots of time wasted visiting parties and events that we just didn’t feel comfortable with. We wish that someone would have told us BEFORE hand what the swingers clubs were like.

Unfortunately, based on the racist comment alone, we would not recommend Club Discretions on your visit to Phoenix. If you like sleazy or are a cat lover, then by all means, Club Discretions is your place. This the first time The Red Couch has put a club on their “not recommended” list. But if you’re like us and want to find out for yourselves, by all means give it a shot. You can find them on the web and social media at https://www.clubdiscretions.com and Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ClubDiscretionsPhoenix.