This topic on The Red Couch is long overdue and seems to be a taboo subject discussed with those in the swinger lifestyle – STI’s. A major concern of most people considering getting into the swinger lifestyle is the spreading of STI’s [sexually transmitted infections.] We never thought we would be subject to this discussion during our 11 year monogamous marriage, so over the past few years we’ve had to take a crash course in STI’s, what they are, how to identify them and how they are treated.
While this might be a genuine concern, if you think of it from a logical perspective, it’s a concern for anyone that has chosen to be non-monogamous or have multiple partners during their lifetime. We also want to be clear – participating in the swinger lifestyle doesn’t make you more or less “at risk” than the average person who is sexually active. Swingers are just as selective with partners, are highly conscious about protection and many swingers we talk to SAY they are friends with a lot of people but only fuck a few.
Now there are opposites to every claim here. I’m sure there are non-selective swingers out there and we all know there have been occasions where we have seen bareback sex happening at a party or heard stories about it. And we all know the “we’re a low mileage couple” claim is often something we deem swinger bullshit. But the goal of this article is not to call bullshit, but instead to give a short overview of some of the major STI’s out there.
We care deeply about our friends in the lifestyle and especially want those newbies and friends out there to be educated to some degree on STI’s.
HPV [Human Papillomavirus] –
According to the CDC, most sexually active persons become infected with HPV at least once in their lifetime. There are hundreds of different types of HPV. They are either high risk, pre-cancer causing or the low risk type that only causes warts. Most might be familiar with a vaccine that is used to prevent HPV. This vaccine is recommended to be introduced to girls and boys between the ages 11-12 and should be taken by the time they are 26. The virus can be spread even with no visible signs and is contracted through anal, vaginal or oral sex. HPV can be detected in women by either looking at your warts or through a pap test from your doctor. There is currently no test available for men. Eventually warts will go away, and can be treated with prescription medication from a medical provider. Women should get routine pap tests to detect cancer related issues as early as possible.
Chlamydia –
Chlamydia is a very common STI that can be easily cured in both men and women, but left untreated can cause significant damage. You can get Chlamydia through having anal, vaginal or oral sex with someone who has Chlamydia. Most people who have Chlamydia don’t have any symptoms. This is why protection is important, as it can decrease your risk of getting Chlamydia or any STI for that matter. If you do have symptoms, they can appear several weeks after being with an infected partner. Symptoms include a burning sensation when urinating and abnormal discharge. In men, pain and swelling in your testicles can also happen. Chlamydia can be diagnosed easily through a urine sample or a swab test and is cured with medication.
Gonorrhea [The Clap] –
Gonorrhea is a very common infection in men and women that affects the genitals, rectum and throat. Just like Chlamydia, some men have Gonorrhea and have no symptoms at all. However, if you do have symptoms, you may have burning while urinating and a white or yellow discharge. Most of the time, urine can be used for testing for Gonorrhea. In some cases a swab might be used to collect a sample from a cervix or urethra. Gonorrhea is treated, like Chlamydia, with medication and is easily cured.
Syphilis –
Syphilis is a STI that is contracted by having direct contact with a Syphilis soar during vaginal, anal or oral sex. You can find soars on or around the penis, vagina, anus, lips or mouth, however it may not be obvious that a partner has Syphilis because the soars can be inside the vagina, mouth, anus or under the foreskin of the penis. Syphilis is divided into 4 stages: primary, secondary, latent and tertiary. There are different signs and symptoms associated with each stage.
Primary – Signs are soars at the site of infection. These are firm, round and painless. Soars usually last 3-6 weeks and will heal regardless of received treatment.
Secondary – Signs are skin rash, swollen lymph nodes and fever. The rash can look like reddish or brown spots on your hands or feet. The rash won’t itch and sometimes is so faint you won’t notice.
Latent – During this stage there are no signs or symptoms.
Tertiary – This stage is associated with serious medical problems. A doctor can diagnose tertiary syphilis through tests and can affect the heart, brain and other body organs.
Condoms can prevent transmission by preventing contact with a soar, but soars may occur in areas in which a condom wouldn’t protect. Syphilis is tested through blood work and is cured through a treatment of antibiotics from a health care provider.
Herpes –
Genital Herpes is caused by two types of viruses. The viruses are called Herpes Simplex Virus 1 [HSV-1] and Herpes Simplex Virus 2 [HSV-2].
Oral Herpes [HSV-1] can result in cold sores and fever blisters on or around the mouth. Most people with oral herpes have been infected at childhood or young adulthood from non-sexual contact with saliva.
Oral Herpes can spread from the mouth to the genitals via oral sex, so some cases of Genital Herpes are caused by HSV-1. According to the CDC, 1 out of 6 people ages 14-49 have genital herpes.
Most people who have Genital Herpes have no symptoms or very mild symptoms that can be mistaken for a pimple or an ingrown hair. Because of this, most people who have Herpes, don’t know it. Herpes sores appear as one or more blisters around the genitals, rectum or mouth. These can take a week or more to heal and eventually the blisters break and leave painful soars. Although the infection stays in your body for the rest of your life, outbreaks may decrease over time.
Herpes is tested by a healthcare provider by a visual and blood test. There is no cure for Herpes and treatment by a daily medicine regimen can prevent or shorten outbreaks.
Herpes is essentially a skin disease, so do not touch your sores to avoid spreading Herpes to another part of your body.
These are only 5 of the most common STI’s that exist. We haven’t covered HIV, BV or Pubic Lice. Of all the recommendations we’ve read, the only way to prevent yourself from getting a glorious STI is to wear protection or not have sex. Wearing condoms definitely decrease any risk involved, but the only 100% safe way to avoid an STI is to abstain. IF YOUR A SWINGER AND READING THIS, ITS NOT HAPPENING! LOL so protect yourself and have fun out there, but be aware of the symptoms and signs should you catch something. But most of all, be at peace because most of these are 100% curable with treatment and most of them are harmless.
Let’s remove the stigma with STI’s [STD] and get back to focusing on the most important things, having great sex and being healthy, happy and horny! [stolen from our friends Carol and Dave @ https://www.thesexylifestyle.com/
Here are some other articles that might be helpful or educational for you to read:
• Aging Swingers at High STD Risk https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=117499
• Ask a Sex Researcher: How Can I Be a Slut Without Getting an STD? Sexual https://slutever.com/can-i-sleep-around-without-getting-an-std/
• Behavior and Sexually Transmitted Infections Among Swingers: Results From an Online Survey in Belgium https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27902890/
This post is sponsored by:
Spark Erotic: Authentic Cinematic Sexuality!
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Good info here, but wanted to point out that the most reliable test for herpes is a culture, which has to be done during an outbreak (so the clinician can swab one of the blisters). Of course that requires being aware that you’re having an outbreak and going to a doctor while it’s occurring. My first outbreak of genital HSV-1 was the most physically painful experience of my life, but not everyone experiences that. Fortunately, I’ve never had another outbreak since then.
Thank you for sharing!
Although you don’t mention HIV, it might be worth mentioning PreP (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-exposure_prophylaxis).
Also, I believe there is some PreP-like measure for herpes as well. IIRC, it doesn’t work 100%, but the problem with herpes is that condoms don’t protect against it very well (I don’t remember the statistics, but it’s not anything close to 99%). So doubling-up on protection is probably wise.
Herpes Simplex 1-cold sores, can be transferred during oral sex to give your partner Herpes Simplex 2.
I was hoping for suggestions on regular testing and legitimate apps (or other ways) that you can use to share results with prospective partners. A well informed participant is a comfortable participant.
This would be a great future post!
Hi we have only been in the LS for approximately 6 months and been married for 32 years and up until getting involved in the life style have only been with each other. I contracted HPV-1 from oral sex we had been so careful the couple of times we played to require condoms. Now we feel like we cannot continue in the LS.
The only “safe sex” is masturbation. If you’re going to be sexually active outside of a monogamous relationship, it’s the risk you take I suppose.
Hello Ann, my wife and I have been talking about attending a LS event. (We actually tried it 20+yrs ago but stayed within our limits). We discussed our limitations on no penetration, no kissing, and no oral of or to others, with the hope of being safe. We talked about kissing other’s bodies and manual stimulation and that’s it. Penetration, kissing and oral should be limited to us only. Regardless, it’s a risky thing in this LS – let’s have fun and stay safe 🙂
If you use protection and are smart about it you can usually make it out alright. Wash well after, and if you have any signs of potential symptoms go get checked as quick as you can.