One of the things we weren’t ready for when we started out in the lifestyle was the hardcore party atmosphere. I’m not sure exactly what we envisioned sex parties to be like, but we both hadn’t been exposed to the party scene since our college days. We were now settled down, married and starting our family. For the most part, we figured our hardcore partying days were over, until we started exploring the lifestyle over two years ago. I guess we figured most people were low-key like we were, maybe enjoying a few drinks over conversation and then one thing leading to another. Come to find out our experience of parties was more of a cross between a rave or a frat party, depending on the various style differences between crowds. There are a few things you typically will always find at a swinger party: loud music pumping, over-drinking, condoms and sometimes…drugs.

We feel like this is a conversation that needs to be had in the lifestyle. Firstly, because the legality of it, secondly because of the health risks associated with drugs. Thirdly, it fucks with consent. For a lifestyle that is so bent on being 100% enthusiastically consensual, it’s kind of hard to say yes or no to a decision when your judgement is impaired by drugs and alcohol. People who attend swinger parties are already nervous of getting outed or participating in something out of the norm and taboo. The last thing any swinger party needs is a drug related issue going down or something where law enforcement needs to get involved.

Promoters should be held accountable to both vet and monitor the parties they host to make sure nothing illegal is happening and that people feel most comfortable and safe.

Most of the time when we went to a party we never saw anything besides weed, but on a few occasions we have both seen and been offered harder drugs. We had our wake up call when we attended one party and struck up a brief conversation with a female with a backpack. She asked how we were and of course, being parents, we jokingly told her we were tired. She must of assumed we needed a “pick me up” and reached for her back pack and asked us what we needed. She had anything and everything we might want. We thanked her for her offer and politely declined, however we were a little taken back at the proposal and it made us very uncomfortable.

We did a small little poll on The Red Couch Facebook page and asked our community what their experience with drugs and the LS was. It was a close poll with the majority of people saying they have both seen and been offered hard drugs at a lifestyle party, while right behind they told us they have seen drugs, but nothing harder than pot. Only a few people said they had never seen anything.

Since the lifestyle is made up of many different, diverse types of people, it’s reasonable to expect to find a variety of experiences when it comes to drugs. We know many people in regular life that smoke pot, so it shouldn’t be a surprise to us. However, we don’t know many people that do harder drugs like cocaine, pills or mdma. Or maybe they do, but we just don’t know about it.

What are your thoughts on drug use in the lifestyle? Should promoters be held accountable? Have you ever seen or been offered harder drugs at a party? Put your comments below.