You don’t have to be conservative or old fashioned to believe in marriage as an ideal situation for couples. We have been quite surprised to find that 80% of the couples we meet in the lifestyle are married and most are in long term, committed, married relationships. The swingers scene does not equate to the SINGLES scene, although there are singles and dating couples that participate. This by NO MEANS is an article to exclude or bash non-married people. Singleness has its own benefits. Instead, it’s hopefully an encouragement to both single and married people alike to hold fast to the benefits that marriage provides. While marriage seems to get a bad rap these days, here are 5 solid reasons why we still believe in marriage and also believe it to be an ideal situation for any couple considering a long term relationship, sexually open or not:

1. Marriage is a legal contract.
Marriage will bring certain rights, responsibilities and “perks” provided to those with a married status. Health insurance, lower auto rates and tax purposes are just a few. Marriage is the only way to be recognized as a family under the law. While there are attempts to make changes regarding these legal statuses and recognition, it is what it is today.

2. Having a husband or wife is actually pretty cool.
Our relationship is exclusively, emotionally committed. While we might physically be involved with others within each others presence, we choose to be emotionally monogamous to each other. This means that I only share my deepest, most personal moments with one person. This is actually pretty cool. We have inside jokes. We know what turns each other on. We are growing more and more in intimacy. Having multiple people we are emotionally tied to in a deep way could get complicated. We have enough issues on our own to work through.

3. Marriage provides both parents for the raising of children.
If kids are in the picture, it’s important they are raised by both mom and dad. I am NOT saying that couples should stay together only for the sake of children. Nor am I saying that a single parent situation couldn’t work. I myself was raised by a single mom, with a step dad type of situation and I turned out ok. Regardless, life would probably have been much different for me if both my parents were in the picture. Both emotionally and financially.

4. Marriage provides long term commitment.
This principle can be applied to anything. You could never grow in your career if you are hopping around from job to job. Marriage relationally provides the opportunity for growth emotionally, intellectually and sexually. In a swinging situation, sex might be OK, but it’s never great the first time. Great sex involves more than just an orgasm. It also includes communication, sharing of fears, and deep personal connections. In this sense, swinger sex is simply a desert but not the main course.

5. Marriage provides a safe place to share your perspective.
Two people are better than one individual. Marriage provides a balance that one person (or even two similar people together for that matter) can give. I’ve often wondered what it would be like if I married someone similar to myself. The truth is, it would probably be pretty destructive. My better half provides a different perspective that is often overlooked by my own personality. This provides a more well rounded, better life experience.

Marriage is hard work guys! But it’s worth it. You have to make sure that you’re having fun, taking time to nurture yourselves and each other. Keep in mind, in a swinger situation you two are the most important people in the room. Never neglect your partner for another and always communicate what your needs, wants and expectations are. If you can nail down your communication piece, you’re already ahead of the game. Celebrate yourselves!