Written by Lynn:
Disclaimer: Not for men that get grossed out easily haha
All women have had a moment ruined by an unwanted visitor. And no, I’m not talking about your best friend or that new girlfriend you’ve been meaning to grab drinks with. I’m talking about that monthly visitor. The one that usually shows up on schedule… until she decides to surprise you a few days early.
Or maybe it’s her equally annoying cousin: the dreaded yeast infection.
You switch to a body wash that smells amazing, try a new brand of condoms, hit the gym a little harder, or spend a little too much time in a wet swimsuit after an afternoon by the pool. Next thing you know, you’re sidelined for another week and wondering if your body got the memo that you had plans.
For some women, it’s an inconvenience.
For someone like me—who genuinely enjoys sex and looks forward to connecting with my husband—it can be a mental battle. Suddenly I start feeling frustrated, disappointed, and yes… a little insecure.
Don’t get me wrong. There are still plenty of ways to be intimate. But let’s be honest—it’s hard not to feel defeated when all of this happens during the sexy weekend you’ve been planning for weeks. The hotel is booked, the babysitter is confirmed, your outfit is hanging in the closet… and now you’re thinking, Seriously?
After the initial pity party (because let’s be real, we’ve all earned one), I take a deep breath, remind myself this isn’t the end of the world, and switch into problem-solving mode.
When you step back and look at the big picture, it’s only a few days each month. Still… when you’ve been counting down to a lifestyle event or a long-awaited date night, those few days can feel like forever.
So here’s my advice from one woman to another.
Go anyway.
Wear the sexy outfit you bought. Walk into that party with confidence. Flirt. Laugh. Meet people. Build connections.
Some of our best lifestyle experiences didn’t happen because we rushed into the bedroom—they happened because we spent time getting to know another couple first. We learned their personalities, watched how they interacted with others, and built anticipation for another day when the timing was better.
If your monthly visitor is the only thing standing in the way, you still have options.
I’ve personally had great success using a menstrual disc, which is different from a menstrual cup because it’s designed so intercourse is possible while wearing it. I wouldn’t recommend it on heavier days, but once things begin winding down, it’s been a game changer for me. If you’re curious, Softdisc has a great explanation of how they work:
https://softdisc.com/how-it-works/
And remember—penetrative sex isn’t the only way to enjoy the lifestyle. Many couples are perfectly happy adjusting plans or exploring other forms of intimacy. In fact, sometimes those experiences end up being just as memorable.
Most importantly…
Stay out of your head.
The overwhelming majority of lifestyle couples understand exactly what you’re going through because they’ve been there too. Women’s bodies are complicated, unpredictable, and amazing all at the same time. A few days each month don’t make you any less sexy, desirable, or fun to be around.
You are so much more than your anatomy.
And if you’re looking for even more practical tips, our friends at SwingersHelp.com put together an excellent resource on managing menstruation in the lifestyle:
https://swingershelp.com/managing-menstruation/
Ladies, we’d love to hear from you. What are your go-to tips when Aunt Flo shows up at the worst possible time? Have you found products or strategies that work well? Share your experiences in the comments—you might help another couple save their weekend.
