We’ve heard this term thrown around a bit in fetish and lifestyle circles, so we wanted to do some research to better understand what exactly a Hedonist is. The simplest definition of a hedonist, is someone who believes that the pursuit of pleasure is the most important thing in life. But beyond that, we wanted to find out if the hedonistic way of thought went anything further. What are the behaviors of someone who is hedonistic and how do they manage the balance between pleasure and responsibility..or do they?
Beyond seeking pleasure as the highest good, hedonists also seek to avoid pain. The claim that pleasure and pain are the ONLY things of ultimate consideration are what makes hedonism what it is. Hedonists will ascribe value ONLY to things that are pleasurable and things that bring pain and suffering are not of any value. This can include both physical and mental aspects of one’s life. Thus a gentle massage would be included in the realm of something worth investing in or recalling a fond memory. The opposite, stubbing a toe or hearing of the loss of a loved one would be considered of little to no value whatsoever.
Coming from a strict religious background, the focus on pleasure as something that has intrinsic value has been a hard concept for us to grasp. We have had it drilled in our head that, in most ways, pleasure is sinful and suffering makes one more holy or perfect. The Bible itself actually makes several references to being selfless, putting others before yourself or abstaining from pleasure to seek out greater spirituality. While there is pleasure in serving others to some degree, it is usually more pleasurable, in our experience, in the one being served.
Pleasure, in its most common sense, is defined as sensation. For all you hedonists out there, here are the 10 senses that you didn’t know or recognize existed:
• Sight
• Sound
• Taste
• Smell
• Touch
• Movement
• Balance
• Heat
• Cold
• Pressure
• Pain
While you might not be a full fledged hedonist, taking these cues from hedonism might help you in your relationship, but also in your life in general. Studies show that hedonism is good for your health. Pleasurable emotions are connected to more creativity, well being, social connectedness and resilience. Some ways you can use hedonism to boost your daily outlook is through journaling positive experiences of your day. Focusing on the pleasurable aspect of healthy food rather than how “healthy they are” might be a better way to eat more of them.
Learning to savor moments in life is a practice I think we can all adopt. In a busy society, always focused on more work, we could use a bit of fun, pleasure and savor in the moments we have each day. Stop and really taste the food you eat. Savor the kisses of your partner or playmate. Relish in the fun with your families and games you play. Laugh more and really live life. You only have one life to live, so now experience it in all it’s fullness.
