Why the Swinger Scene Shouldn’t Be Female Driven

I’ll admit the title is a bit of an attention grab but hear me out here.

We have heard it more than once. The swinger scene is female led, i.e. “women have the power because they have a pussy so they get to call the shots.” But here is the problem with this thought process…if you’re a married m/f couple you consist of more than just an individual with a pussy, you are a unit. Since you are a unit, both people should be involved in the decisions related to adding additional playmates to your bedroom time. Not just your wife/partner.

Another problem with this philosophy is that not all women WANT to dictate, nor initiate. Leaving the ball in the ladies court all the time can lead to frustrated women that are more than interested in playing with another couple, yet the male isn’t showing interest because he is just sitting back waiting for her signals. From our experience, a female led swingers scene leads to passive male involvement, which to us is a huge turn off.

I can’t tell you how many swingers parties we’ve been to that look like this: A group of women socializing, dancing and having a good time while the men stand at the bar, too many beers in to even make a sentence together. My wife will NEVER approach a man with sexy intentions. She may make eye contact, twirl her hair and shake her ass, but she isn’t a fan of initiating anything. In fact it’s a turn off when she gets around soft beta males that need to be told what to do and when to do it. 

We have to start letting men initiate. We need to encourage men to be men…in a good way.

I’m not advocating misogyny. I’m proposing we let men pursue, protect and be more involved in the sensual dance between two mature couples looking to take things to the next  level.

It should never be the women doing all the initiating and the guys along for the ride.  That releases responsibility from the male half of the couple to do anything except show up with a dick in hand. Guys need to come with more effort than throwing on a button down shirt and combing their hair. 

They need to learn to communicate with a lady. Get to know her. Dance with her. Make her laugh and stimulate her mind before you can assume she wants you in her pussy. Otherwise a woman can just go get her vibrator. And that’s exactly what they seem to be doing…

Men need to step up and come with some more game, but they won’t do it unless some ladies will step back and let some of the work be shared. 

A m/f couple is most definitely a couple. Anything left one sided can foster confusion and miscommunication. We find the beauty that’s found in the lifestyle is manifested when a couple is working in sync together, both involved, both communicating and both all in for the adventure. 

Ladies are you with us on this? Do you find it hard to find a man in the lifestyle that takes charge or are you constantly having to tell your man what to do? Men, what things can you do to participate more in your lifestyle exchanges?

This post is sponsored by:
Spark Erotic: Authentic Cinematic Sexuality!
https://sparkerotic.com
https://twitter.com/SparkErotic
https://www.instagram.com/urvashis.spark/

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *