12 Things That Only Kinky Parents Will Understand

As the parents of two small ones, we need to make a few things clear:

1. We don’t drop everything just to come fuck you. Actually, we are probably in the middle of changing a diaper or cutting up some veggie snacks. Please show some respect by being patient.

2. We don’t have boat loads of time to build some type of fantasy relationship or connection with you. The truth is we have more to risk relationally than you do. We have a real life together that isn’t trying to integrate every fuck toy we come across to play with. Say hi now and then, ask how we’re doing, let’s grab drinks, but for the love of God, please don’t try and get too personal.

3. We are usually in bed by 9pm. If you don’t start your playtime until 3am and your rocking out the bedroom till 5 in the morning, we aren’t the ones. We prefer to get acquainted and get down to it and call it a night.

4. You will never, ever be invited over to our home unless we’ve met you first some place else and you’ve been vetted. When you do get invited, there will be Barbies and race cars to play with in addition to dildos, cuffs and leather floggers.

5. No, our kids will probably never play together.

6. Our sex life is actually none of our children’s business. When they are old enough and we feel they can handle things responsibly, we will elect what to tell them and when.

7. Being a perverted, naughty, kinky fuck doesn’t make you a bad parent the least bit. In fact, us kinksters probably have a more realistic, healthy view of sexuality that most repressed suburbanite parents we meet.

8. Mom is crabby because she needs a good fuck. Please, just make her cum, fuck her well and all is good. If momma isn’t happy, no one is happy.

9. Children still need moral development. Even though our moral checklist is probably jaded at the moment, we still try our best to teach our kids what is right and wrong. Some things are common sense, but some things kids need to be taught. Because I make mistakes doesn’t invalidate my responsibility to at least instruct my kids with moral training. (whatever I choose the source of moral training to be)

10. We are trying our best to both meet the needs of our children AND make sure our own needs for sexual exploration are met. This is a interesting juggling act any parent can testify to.

11. Please don’t compare yourself to us because your kids are older or grown and out of the house. You’re a lucky bastard you don’t have to monitor or manage needy kids anymore. Have some empathy for us parents still raising our kids. Just because your an empty nester (or close to being) don’t assume we are.

12. You and your FWB you just met on Tinder two weeks ago are not the same as us. We have built a life together over the span of 10 years. We have a house, we share bank accounts, we are raising children and attending PTA meetings. Please don’t classify your new fuck buddy relationship you have in the same category as ours.
The Red Couch
The Red Couch is a sexy lifestyle page exclusively for married couples run by Lynn N Sev. We are a married couple of 10 years that have discovered new and fantastic ways to keep our relationship hot and sexy. We actually have a red couch that we acquired when we first got married in 2008. It was sexy and still is, but we rarely get use out of it anymore! The Red Couch symbolizes for us the fun and adventure married couples should have with your sex life.

We would like to share our thoughts with other, like minded and open couples looking for advice and tips on how to navigate the adult lifestyle world and keep their relationship full of adventure and spice.